Evil Dictators: A Do's and Dont's List

In order to become a truly successful Evil Dictator, there are some simple do and do not's that need to be followed:

- DO buy large castle/factory equipped with ample dungeon space for naysayers and revolutionaries. you cant please all the people, all the time; so throw the angry ones in jail until they cool down a little. a little time behind bars never killed anyone.
- DO NOT have a master "open all doors" switch in said dungeon; this makes jailbreak attempts all too easy. if you still have the urge to have a master switch, have three separate keys that must be inserted before the switch can be turned. this makes it even harder for the jailbreakers to free all of your angry subjects at once and can even distract them from just trying to open each cell individually, which in some cases can be faster and easier.
- DO hire competant bodyguards. too many an Evil Dictator has been brought down by the inadequacy of his or her bodyguards. this is one area where it is ok to splurge your national bank account.
- DO NOT give in to the urge to hire your brother, cousin, sister, mother, father or college roommate as your chief of security, head bodyguard, or other position where he/she will be alone with you. the temptation of power can turn even the best friend into a bitter enemy. instead, hire people you dont know and/or care about, and if they even have a hint of revolution on their lips, throw them in the aforementioned dungeon.
- DO make allies with your Evil Dictator bretheren. the more the merrier.
- DO NOT attempt to take on the world superpowers when you first start. you will lose and eventually end up dead. resist the urge.
- DO make yourself and your high-ranking officials comfortable in your fortress. musicians, jugglers, TiVo, DishTV, and free food are always perks that are bound to keep the best sidekicks and henchmen around.
- DO NOT skimp on your fortress decorations. you have a reputation as money-hungry, wasteful, hoarding, plundering dictator to upkeep. appearence is everything.
- DO keep reading my blog, because if you dont, my Evil Dictator friend will throw you in his Doungeon of Woes.
- DO NOT take anything i said here seriously.


cheers!